World Views “Glass-ified”


Mitch Teemley


A Comprehensive Glass-ification of World Views

  • Optimist – The glass is ½ full
  • Pessimist – The glass is ½ empty
  • Darwin – The glass appeared at random and without cause. It belongs to whoever can kill the others and drink it first
  • Nietzche – The glass is dead!
  • Freud – Women suffer from glass envy. Men want to kill the glass and marry their mothers
  • Roman Catholic – You must be sprinkled from the glass as a baby
  • Baptist – No! You must be fully immersed in the glass as an adult!
  • Jewish – First you have your glass-mitzvah, then you marry a nice girl and become a doctor
  • New Ager – In a former life I was Cleopatra’s glass.  You are the glass, I am the glass, we’re all the glass (only maybe me a little more than you)
  • Jedi – Trust the glass, Luke
  • Democrat –We must siphon…

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