Too funny

image from medicinenet.com

image from medicinenet.com

Ron Chester, 89 years of age,  was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Ron replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.”

The officer asked, “Really?  And who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?”

Ron replied, “That would be my wife.”

Published in: on January 7, 2015 at 11:26pm01  Comments (2)  
Tags: , ,

Shrinking Joke

Being Monday and a rather gloomy day around here, I though a joke was in order.

shrink joke

(I don’t know who took the picture of the owl, but if anyone does, I’ll happily site them! It’s a great picture, I just added the joke.)

 

Published in: on December 8, 2014 at 11:26pm12  Comments (3)  
Tags: , , ,

Funny

I saw this and thought it was funny, so I thought I’d share it.

dead and stupid

 

Published in: on November 6, 2014 at 11:26pm11  Comments (1)  
Tags: , ,

Photo Phriday

Had to do something related to Easter – or at least related to all the eggs lying around.

from thedesigninspiration.com

from thedesigninspiration.com

Published in: on April 18, 2014 at 11:26pm04  Comments (1)  
Tags: , , , ,

Ever have one of those days?

The video speaks for itself.

Published in: on March 27, 2014 at 11:26pm03  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , ,

A Reader’s Truism

A friend pinned this to me and I just had to share with all my reading friends.

from someecards.com

from someecards.com

Published in: on January 6, 2014 at 11:26pm01  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , , , ,

What do :-) and :-( and 1982 and today have in common?

Answer:

On this day in 1982 the first “emoticons” ever were used and were created by is Scott Fahlman, a computer scientist. In 1982, when he was participating in an online forum, he used the :- ) and :-( to note when he was making a joke. Little did he know…

“Redneckharmony.com” – Red Neck dating site

I can’t send my “Belle Weather” book back to the library without telling you about Celia Rivenbark’s 10 compatibilty questions on her Red Neck dating site.

 “1. Have you ever given birth on a pool table? If so, how many times?

2. Have you, or any member of your immediate family, ever tried to remove a tatoo with eighty-grit sandpaper? From the baby?

3.Have you ever burned all the hair off your body while demonstrating the power of methane gas?

4. Have you ever tried to pay for a twelve-pack at the Stop-n-Rob convenience store using your mama’s gold tooth? If yes, did you take it while she was passed out or ask her nice-like for it?

5. Have you ever stayed up all night building a beer bong for your little sister’s eighth birthday present?

6. Have you ever heard yourself say, “While I admire the liting oboe duet in Mendelssohn’s No. 5 in D Minor, I have to say that the andante of the final movement is what truly stirs my soul?

7. Have you ever attended a cockfight? Witha a date? That wasn’t your sister?

8. Have you ever gone to the bank and applied for a loan so you could get spinners and nekkid-lady mudflaps put on your Gremlin?

9. Have you ever complained to a waiter that, while bleu might be an acceptable substitute for gorgonzola crumbles in his universe, it mostly assuredly isn’ t in yours?

10. Have you openly mourned the fading popularity of the mullet hairstyle?

If you answered “Yes to all but questions six and nine, you will find your mate at redneckharmony.com. I had to add those two weird questions to weed out the riff-raff, you know. Happy redneck couples, don’t thank me now: just thank me by promising to get all the young’uns vaccinated, you hear?”

lol!

Jokes on me

I like Felix’s humor!

Published in: on April 8, 2012 at 11:26am04  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , ,

Military humor

Here’s another bit of WWII military humor.

A lieutenant fresh from jumping instructions was seated next to a sergeant in a parachute regiment during a night-time exercise. The Lt. looked very pale and frightened, so the sergeant struck up a conversation.

“Sacared Lieutenent?” he asked.

“No, just a bit apprehensive,” the lieutenent replied.

“What’s the difference?”

“Apprehension means I’m scared with a collage education.”

From The GI War, 1941-1945, by Ralph G. Martin (Avon, 1967)

Published in: on July 17, 2011 at 11:26pm07  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,055 other followers